Christmas-time(ish) is always a special time for me. Both special in that it’s a chance I get to spend with the people I’m close to, etc, and also because I consciously recognize this as a break from the normal flow of activity and life. Undeniably, people act differently and as such normal processes of life are suspended, replaced by the way of doing things during ‘the holidays’. This time of year does have a distinct feeling – everybody notices this. If nothing else, there’s a common focus between people – not everybody, but enough people. I’ve noticed some people, yours truly included, really like this time of year while some people really don’t. While, as always, there is a portion of the population which is apathetic – though it be a small one. (It is very hard to be completely unaffected and disinterested; the normal order of life is shaken up to such an extent as to, if nothing else, somehow affect the daily routine of the, otherwise, ‘apathetic observer’.) Common complaints about not having enough time, increasing commercialization, or just generally about the hustle and bustle and bullshit seem to come from both camps, so there must be merit to them. Yet I still feel this time of year holds ‘potential’ more tangibly in the air than any other; there seems to be no limit to what one can do with this precious time, even though simultaneously it may feel like time is quickly fleeting.

How many defining moments in peoples' lives have revolved, in some way, around the holidays? Brother died in a drunk-driving car crash? Have a cherished family moment from your childhood? Kissed your first girl on New Years Eve years ago? Puked with your friends a few years ago? Do you even remember a few years ago? If not, chances are it was a big night for you, regardless of your (lack of) memories.

Classes are winding down, and all I’m left with is exams (barring one minor paper to do between now and the end of the semester). After classes, the amount of responsibilities in my life will drop significantly - each class (not even, only 4/5) is consolidating into one major responsibility, instead of being a multitude of smaller ones. Beyond studying for them, what else have I got to do up here? The days are becoming mostly mine and I have increasing freedom over how I use them. What a weird freedom this is turning out to be; the more independent my agency becomes, the more I feel to be an individual and the more responsible I feel for myself – my actions and who I am. Over a period of time which feels long but will be called ‘a while’, I’ve been taking an increased interest in the goings-on and the pattern of experiences that constitutes my life up here and in general. Not ‘just paying more attention’, but something akin to it. I could ‘pay attention’ and still not have this type of focus, which is how I know they are not the same thing.

I’m watching carefully while at the same time directly participating with focus to make the next few weeks something unprecedented and fully realised. No time like the present; no time like the holidays.